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Sunday, March 18, 2007 @2:34 PM

I kept tossing round my bed last night, I can't get myself to sleep even though i was very tired. I never felt like this before, i never felt so lost before and it's like i lost the slightest faith i used to have in myself. I was thinking so much till my chest felt uneasy and i have difficulty breathing, been feeling like this for quite some time and it feels bad. I was troubled by troubles until one point of time when i went blank last night but it came back haunting me agn half an hour later. I thought i could get a break from everything alas because sleeping was the only way out, unfortunately i was wrong. I was stressing bout exams because i screwed 4 of the subjs, i thought of giving up already but i thought twice when i look into mommy's eyes and saw the hopes she put on this sick child of hers and the constant advices to do well for my supps and the promise to keep it from dad. I let both of them so so down and i told myself i couldn't just go like this, leaving them with all these shit. Since i'm so used to sufferings, i might as well take all these and keep them from those shit i left behind.
But this feeling suck, when you got no one to talk to anymore and you got so many troubles. I thought going out could kill those emotions and i was partially correct but very wrong. I still think of what happened the past 2 wks. I can't help myself. somebody help me please?

Chris Daughtry's and Jesse McCartney's songs make me cry. I cried in the car, I cried in the lift and I'm crying in my room. I feel like a baby boy who cries for no particular reason and my head feels so heavy, my lip feels so numb and my chest feels so uneasy. I never cried like this before, this is bad. Till the last few paragraphs in this entry after half an hour, i stopped looking at photos and i stop crying but it doesn't mean that i'm letting loose my grip.

I used to get the best hugs in my life whenever I cry, I used to get the best pat on earth telling me to cheer up. Right now, i just want to run to you and tell you everything because these are killing me.

Just so you know this feelings taking control of me and I can't help it

Broken,

♥ Don't feel bad keep your sadness alive


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